The First Time
by skargasm
Summary: Xander shares the story of his first time with Spike with Willow but it's not quite the romantic interlude she imagined!... Done for my KissBingo card on Livejournal


**Kiss Bingo :** Time : First  
**Title:** The First Time  
**Pairing :** Spike/Xander  
**Rating :** NC17  
**Part :** 1/1  
**Summary:** Xander shares the tale of his first time with Spike with Willow, but it's not _quite_ the romantic interlude she's expecting...

"Soooo, are you going to tell me all about your first time with Spike? I mean, was it all grrr and passion, or sweet and stuff? Come on mister, spill - enquiring minds want to know". Snuggling back into the sofa, Willow looked over Xander, a huge smile splitting her face at the happiness that was evident in his.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yup! This is me being all-supporto girl and welcoming you to the Gay Parade! Also much with the wanting to share because I think it's important that you can talk to someone. Oh, and I think it's hot the two of you together!"

Xander sat quietly for a moment, considering how to phrase things. It meant so much to him that Willow was being supportive of him and Spike. Buffy was struggling, but he had expected that. And she was dealing - hadn't taken the opportunity to throw in his face all of his vampire-hating from the Angel-period.

"Right, ok, but you're gonna be so disappointed. It was supposed to be all romantic and stuff, I mean, we'd been building up to it for a good month or so. But that wasn't _quite_ how it turned out..."

Cupping his hand over his mouth, Xander huffed out a breath, sniffing to check. Yep, minty fresh, all good there. Dating a vampire meant all sorts of trauma with regard to personal hygiene and after a day on the site he always hit the shower before getting ready to see Spike. But tonight was special - this was a proper date. They weren't going out slaying - although Spike definitely considered that as a form of foreplay, turning into Mr Octopus after a particularly rousing fight on more than one occasion. They weren't hitting the bronze for beer, onion rings and pool. No, tonight was going to be _really_ special because tonight was the night. Tonight, they were going to have sex for the first time.

Oh they'd done plenty of things - since getting hit by the Lust Demon and making out for several hours made both of them aware that their snarkage _might_ be a result of unrelieved sexual tension between them, they'd done a lot of that. Making out that is. Spike called it "snogging" but Xander thought that sounded like a particularly gruesome form of surgery or something and much preferred to refer to it as making out.

Above the waist didn't have quite the same meaning when it was two guys doing it, although Spike's chest was definitely a work of art in itself, and deserving of much Xander worship. They had gone below the waist a few times too, with Xander learning to appreciate on a whole new level the wonderfulness of having a boyfriend that didn't need to breathe whilst giving you a blow-job. He'd also happily done some work on his own blow job skills, and based on Spike's reactions they were coming on in leaps and bounds. But there'd been no actual penetration by either of them. Stroking - lots of. Licking - a little of, and that had squicked him out until Spike showed him it was well worth getting over a little squick to enjoy sensations like that. But apart from maybe the tip of a tongue nothing had been inserted by either of them.

Looking over his bedroom one last time, Xander nodded, happy he had everything set just right. The bed was made with crisp linens - expensive ones at that. He'd taken ages choosing them at the store, stroking all the different varieties, searching for something that felt as good to him as Spike's skin. He'd laughed out loud when he realised just how gay that made him, but even so he'd continued his search until he found the perfect sheets. Tall thick candles on each dressing table, lightly scented were waiting to be lit. More practical, tubes of lube were on each table, as well as tucked under pillows and discreetly _between_ the sheets – Xander was determined to be ready for pretty much anything. Last, but not least, the new blackout curtains were tightly closed, ensuring Spike could safely spend the night and day without the need for a dust-buster!

He bustled into the kitchen, open a bag of human blood and pouring it into the new mug he'd bought for the occasion. He'd had words printed on it, and hoped that Spike would appreciate the sentiment. It said "Property of Spike, the Property of Xander" in swirly red writing. If Spike didn't like it, he could always accidentally on purpose break it! A light knock on the door made him jump, and he stood for a moment, getting his equilibrium. This was it, time to get the evening started.

"Hey Spike, welcome and come in!" Spike had obviously dressed up for the occasion - his black jeans had quite obviously been washed, as had the black tee-shirt, and he was wearing a red silk button down shirt. Looking him up and down, Xander realised that Spike had even cleaned his boots!

Walking in, Spike said "Hey Whelp. Got these for you" whilst holding out a large box of Hershey's Kisses. He smirked "Remembered you once saying you'd do anything for chocolate - thought I'd find out how true that was!"

"Ha de ha, Fangless, but thank you - they're great". Taking the candy, Xander followed Spike into the living room. "Would sir like a cup of blood?"

"Why, yes, that would be lovely" Spike replied, grinning. Shrugging off his duster, he threw himself onto the sofa, leaning over to pull off his docs and tuck them neatly by the side of the chair. "What movies did ya get then?"

Setting the microwave off, Xander looked over his shoulder. "Well I was going to get something romantic, you know, set the mood – then I realised choosing gay porn was _not_ the tone I wanted to set for the evening. So instead I thought we'd watch a comedy – I got Blade I and Blade II".

"Brilliant, luv, could do with a good laugh!" Watching any vampire movie with the two of them was a feat of endurance – the level of snark and sarcasm was always high, and there had been a time or two when Willow had threatened to throw them out if they didn't contain themselves. Buffy was just as bad, critiquing the fight scenes until generally no one wanted to watch anything vampire related with any of of them – it wasn't worth the hassle. "Ta luv" Spike said, reaching for the mug of blood that Xander was holding out to him. He smirked at seeing the writing on the side – yep, he approved – before settling down and waiting for Xander to come back through from the kitchen.

Bringing with him a variety of chips, dips and soda, Xander bounced onto the sofa next to Spike, groping for the remote control before setting the first movie off. As they watched, and snarked their way through the movie, they slowly gravitated towards each other. Spike had put his mug down on the floor, and Xander had moved the chips, etc. out of the way until they were sat close to each other, the length of their bodies touching from shoulders to knees. Spike turned and looked at Xander, eyes travelling over the man's profile admiringly. The shaggy dark hair flopping in his eyes, huge grin on his face as he watched Blade fighting the baddies. Xander realised he was being watched and turned to meet Spike's gaze, eyes dropping to the pale pink lips, tongue darting out to lick his own.

They moved together slowly, heads tilting as their lips met and they gently kissed. Xander moaned, opening his mouth so that he could greet Spike's tongue properly, hands reaching out to take Spike's head in his hands. The passion grew, the kisses becoming harder, more passionate. Shifting around on the sofa, movie ignored now, until Spike was lying on his back with Xander on top of him, still possessively grasping Spike's head as he kissed him deeply. Spike took advantage of his position to run his hands down Xander's back, gripping the luscious arse cheeks through the thin sweatpants and squeezing.

He groaned as Xander arched forward, their erections rubbing against each other through the layers of fabric. Xander set up a slow rhythm, grinding his hips down so that he could push his groin into Spike's, gasping for breath between kisses before diving back in. He loved how Spike kissed, as though he was putting his whole body into it, like his unlife depended on mapping every crevice of the inside of his mouth.

"Spike..." Pulling back, Xander looked down into Spike's hazy eyes, smiling at the dopey grin on the vampire's face.

"Hmmmm..."

"Wanna come to bed?"

"You sure luv?"

"Oh yeah – I'm sure".

It was the work of a few minutes to turn off the movie, lock the front door and turn off all the lights before walking together into the bedroom. Xander was so nervous – this felt so deliberate, lacking in spontaneity – but he also knew that this was for the best. Spike and he had already talked about going into things with their eyes open, both of them having been hurt in the past after following their hearts. He walked forward and lit the candle on one side of the bed, turning to smile at Spike as he hovered in the doorway. Walking round to the other side of the bed, he lit the other candle and before he could change his mind he whipped his tee-shirt off, standing in his light sweatpants and nothing else. He sat on the bed, shuffling over until he was in the middle resting his back against the heap of pillows.

"Strip for me". Spike smirked, head tilted to one side as he watched Xander making himself comfortable. If the whelp wanted a strip tease, he could do that. He flicked the buttons on his cuffs undone, sliding the shirt off slowly and letting it fall to the floor. Xander grinned, pleased that Spike was up to the challenge.

Spike tugged the tee-shirt out of the waistband of his jeans, rumpling the material up so that his marble pale abs were displayed, the pale pink of one nipple peeking out. Xander's eyes were riveted to Spike's hands, watching every move he made as he stroked his chest beneath the tee-shirt, pinching his nipples lightly before tugging the material up and over his head. Spike smiled at the huge whiff of pheromones he got from the direction of the bed when his chest was revealed – he knew how much of a yen the boy had for his bare chest, and who was he to complain? Hands reaching for the buttons of his denims, he popped the top one, then the second, tugging the material down so that the first tufts of his honey blond pubic hair were revealed.

Xander licked his lips, unable to tear his eyes away from Spike's movements. He didn't even realise he was stroking himself, hand reaching under the waistband of his sweats and sliding up and down the stiffness of his cock. He moaned under his breath as another button was popped undone, then another, grabbing the waistband of his sweats and arching up from the bed to push them down and off, kicking them over the side of the bed.

"Oh Pet, that is a sight for sore eyes" Spike moaned, popping the remaining buttons and shoving his jeans down. He wriggled his hips, fighting the tight material, unable to take his eyes off of all that tanned smooth flesh displayed against the soft sheets. He took a step forward, tripping over the denim still wrapped around his legs and almost falling to the floor. "Fuck!"

"You ok?" Xander knelt up on the bed, then relaxed back as Spike righted himself, pushing his jeans the rest of the way off and stepping towards the bed.

"Oh yeah, Pet, I'm fine – just wanna get as close to you as I can, as soon as I can". Clambering onto the bed, Spike tugged at Xander's ankles, pulling him down the bed so that he could lie on top of him, hissing as they came into full body contact. "God Xander, you feel so good luv".

"Mmmmhmmm". Sucking Spike's tongue into his mouth, Xander pulled him in tight, hands slipping down to caress the taut cheeks of Spike's ass. Spreading his legs wider, he wrapped them around Spike's hips thrusting upwards against the steel hardness of his cock. Spike slipped a hand between them, stroking Xander's balls before slipping behind them and grazing his perineum with a fingertip. He leaned back, loosening Xander's grip around him, coming to rest on his knees between the boy's spread legs, stroking gently. He looked up, stunned and amazed at the trust in Xander's eyes. He reached to the bedside table, popping open the tube of lube and slicking his fingers.

"Ready luv?" Xander nodded, a little apprehension in his gaze. Gently, so gently, Spike slipped his finger into the ring of muscle. So tight, so hot, clinging to his flesh as he pushed his way in. "Oh God, luv, this feels... you ok, yeah?" Eyes closed, teeth gritted Xander nodded. It was so hard to explain how he was feeling. So weird to feel the muscle being stretched, the slender finger working in and out – it was like an itch that needed scratching but didn't, a pleasurable confusion to his senses. Spike removed his hand, adding more slick and pushing two fingers in this time, always watching Xander's face to make sure he wasn't hurting him.

"Guh – ohmhyggod" the boy muttered, arching closer, spreading his legs wider to give Spike more room.

"Good yeah?" Excited beyond bearing, Spike twisted his hand as he slipped his fingers in and out. Adding a little more lube, he squeezed his three fingers together and pushed them gently in.

"OH, oh, Spike – oh..." He froze, unsure whether the cry was good or bad. "Don't stop,please don'tstopdon'tstop". He grinned at the babble, twisting his hand from side to side as he separated his three fingers gently in the tight grasp, stretching him carefully. Xander pulled his legs up so that his feet were flat on the bed, his knees bracketing Spike. Panting, taking a deep breath he opened his eyes and caught Spike's gaze. "Spike – want you to fuck me, please".

The straightforward request went straight to Spike's balls, ratcheting his desire higher, making his cock ache to be inside. Suddenly nervous, he grabbed the lube and poured some into his hand, slicking his cock and moaning as the loose slip/slide brought him closer to the edge.

"Shit!" He realised the lube wasn't closed, a small puddle forming on the bed. Grabbing the tube, he threw it off the bed. "Luv – think it'll be easier on your hands and knees, yeah?" Nodding his agreement, Xander struggled up and shifted over onto his front, narrowly missing kicking Spike as he manoeuvred himself over. Head resting on his crossed arms, back arched, he presented his ass to Spike, who moaned at the obedience, shuffling forward on his knees and pressing the head of his swollen cock to Xander's loosened hole. He shifted his hips forward, swearing as the head of his cock slipped down and missed it's goal. Taking a firm grip, he pushed forward, squeezing through the tight ring into the scalding heat it protected. The grip on his cock was so tight, the feeling so mind-bending that he thrust forward too hard, seating himself to the hilt in one lunge.

"Ahhhhhhhh" Xander cried out, the burning stretching sensation ricocheting through his body, confusing his senses until he wasn't sure whether it was pleasure or pain.

"Argh!" Spike screamed, yanking himself backwards, hands held to his head as the chip fired! "Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!" he moaned, rolling around on the bed in agony.

"Shit, Spike, I'm sorry – so sorry!" Xander had spun round on his knees, reaching to hug the vampire close to him, stroking his hair as he tried to sooth him through the pain ripping through his head. He pulled Spike into his arms, falling backwards on the bed and holding him close as he slowly surfaced from the grinding pain. "Shit, Spike, I'm so sorry – it didn't hurt that bad, I don't even know why the chip went off!".

"S'ok – not your fault, should have taken it more slowly, yeah?" Finally able to speak, Spike squinted through the pain, reaching up to touch Xander's worried face. "It's ok, luv, my fault yeah?" They lay together, stroking each other's backs and side, relaxing into the feeling of full body contact. Their mouths met, the kisses deepening once more until they were rolling on the bed, sucking at each other's tongue, biting each other's lips, gripping taut flesh, wilted flesh once more showing interest as they tried to pull each other impossibly closer.

"You want to try that again?" Xander whispered, pulling back from their kiss and taking in a huge breath of air.

"You sure?" Spike asked. Xander nodded, once more shifting to his front and moving up onto his knees. Spike knelt behind him, stroking the cheeks of his ass, the small of his back, gentling him. Taking himself in hand, he once more pressed against Xander's hole and slowly edged his way in. Or tried to. But Xander was clenched tight – now he knew how it felt he couldn't seem to relax. It had felt good, underneath the burning, but he couldn't seem to stop dreading the burning, wondering if it got worse. "Err, Xan?"

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna have to relax luv, or this really isn't gonna work".

"I'm trying – I really am". Taking deep breaths, Xander put his head down once more, trying to concentrate on relaxing and getting tenser and tenser. This wasn't how this was meant to be, and finally giving up, he slumped downwards dejectedly.

"Ok, you wanna do me instead?"

"Whu-" Spike moved backwards, resting on his calves and shifting out of the way as Xander flipped himself over and gave him a stunned look.

"You – fuck me, yeah?"

"You'd let me?" Spike nodded, looking a little nervous. Quick as thought, Xander tugged Spike down to the bed, kissing him enthusiastically as he rolled on top of him. He moved down Spike's chest, laying nibbling kisses over the pale pink nipples, biting gently at the smooth skin of his abdomen, and sucking the head of his cock into his mouth.

"Fuck – yeah!" Spike moaned, hands resting on Xander's head as he relished the boy's enthusiastic blow-job. Hot mouth, tight lips, sloppy sexy sucking and licking – God, yeah this was good. He felt Xander's hands reaching behind his balls, copying his motions of before, stroking his perineum and moving back towards his asshole. Distracted by the blow-job, Spike didn't notice Xander reaching for one of the tubes of lube he had hidden earlier, applying some to his fingers before pushing into Spike's pale pink pucker gently. "Ugh!" he moaned, a new level of appreciation for Xander's long strong fingers as he reached for and found Spike's prostate, stroking firmly and almost sending Spike into orbit. Thrusting upwards, he pushed his cock further into Xander's mouth, getting a warning spark from the chip as Xander grunted and pulled back as his hard length hit the back of his throat.

Adding another finger, Xander smoothly scissored them apart, stretching Spike's tight hole until it was happily accepting the intrusion. A little bit more lube, and it was three fingers now, Spike's moans getting louder and longer as he lost himself in what Xander was making him feel. Rearing up, excited beyond belief, Xander grabbed Spike and helped him over onto his hands and knees, shuffling closer as he moved into position with his head down on the bed, ass in the air. Stroking the dark crease between those gorgeous pale white cheeks, he moved the head of his cock to Spike's hole, dribbling precum in his excitement as he began to push in.

He froze in position, just the head of his dick encased, panting around the need to come straight away. Oh God, this was just so intense – he couldn't believe how it felt around him, so tight, cool, clinging. Then he realised Spike wasn't moving or making a single sound, and he reached for his hips, stroking gently as he asked "Spike – you ok?" A muffled sound came from where Spike had buried his head in the pillow. "Spike - baby, talk to me".

"Can't – not sure if I can do this Xan". Xander realised Spike sounded near to tears, and he wilted instantly, sliding out of the tight embrace as he moved backwards. He moved to one side, wrapping himself around Spike and kissing his shoulder.

"What's wrong? Talk to me – was it too fast, did I hurt you?" Spike shook his head, refusing to come out from the pillow and mumbling something unintelligible into it. "Please, Spike, talk to me. Please".

"I said I'm scared, ALRIGHT?" Lifting his head he glared at Xander.

"Scared of me?" Stricken, Xander leaned back.

"No! Ya daft pillock, I'm not scared of you – I might have the chip but I'm not a complete poofter!" He sighed, then turned over onto his side and faced Xander. "This is the first time I've done this – voluntarily I mean".

"What – sex with a man? But you told me - "

"No, not that. I mean, first time I've been on the bottom voluntarily. The last time I did this I wasn't there by choice – ya get me?"

"You mean Angel - ? ! ! !"

"Not sodding Angel! It was Angelus – Angel wouldn't have the knackers to do it, and I ain't scared of him". Scowling, Spike threw himself onto his back, wishing fervently for a cigarette. "Was a punishment – I did summat to piss him off, and he – he threw me over this table and he fucked me. Never felt anything like it – not before and not since. I couldn't even fight. It was when I was in the wheelchair after the organ fell on me. He only did it to prove a point, but God, it fucking hurt". Eyes averted, he bit his lip, refusing to meet Xander's gaze. He didn't want pity, not now, not ever but he owed the whelp an explanation. "I just – I dunno if I can do this _this_way, ya know? And I obviously can't do you – you're tighter than the Watcher's wallet and that's saying summat".

"Well damn!" Shocked, Xander could do nothing but snuggle up to the vampire, wrapping his arms around him and pulling the resisting body close. "I'm so sorry you went through that, Spike – I always knew Angel was a complete bastard, but I didn't realise he'd done that to you". Holding his vampire close, he soothed him, stroking the soft skin of his back, tracing the smooth muscles.

"S'not summat I tell many people Pet. Hadn't meant to tell you but didn't really have a choice now did I". Slowly, Spike felt himself relaxing, lulled by the warmth of Xander's embrace, the caring in the soothing touches down his spine. He almost purred, pushing his back into the stroking. God, this boy was fucking lethal – just being held by him made Spike feel so fucking safe, and it scared him. He reached up, pressing his lips against the warm mouth, sighing as Xander immediately kissed him back. Once more, the kisses grew longer, more passionate, deeper until Spike was on his back once more, Xander between his legs, erect cocks pushing and rubbing against each other.

"Xander - "

"Uh-huh..." Groaning, Xander kept moving his hips, the cool feeling of Spike's cock sapping his ability to think let alone talk.

"Xander – want you to – god, Pet, that feels so good! Umm... want you try again, yeah?"

"Spike – we don't have to - "

"I know, I know we don't have to. But maybe if we do it this way – with me watching you, yeah? It's just I want everything with you Pet – want this so bad". Xander lent up and looked down into Spike's eyes. His lips were pink and swollen, slight stubble rash around his chin, hair completely mussed by Xander's hands – he had never looked sexier or more vulnerable.

"Ok, we can try. But you tell me if you want me to stop – the instant, ok?" Spike nodded, tucking his feet up and opening himself to Xander's gaze and touch. Reaching once more for the lube, Xander slicked up his fingers and gently introduced them to Spike's entrance. Spike smiled at him, lips trembling, eyes a little scared. "It's nothing new, ok, we've done this". Talking soothingly all the while, Xander prepared him. All the textbooks said to do it this way – 1 finger, 2 fingers, 3 fingers, stretching gently all the while. He couldn't believe how brave Spike was being, determined not to hurt him. Concentrating, he pushed, caressed and twisted his fingers, doing everything he could to stretch Spike's tightness around him.

"Xander - "

"You want me to stop?"

"No! I want ya to get a fucking move on before I come ya bastard!" Xander met Spike's gaze, and grinned sheepishly. Ok, yeah, he'd got a bit carried away following the 'manual' but he wanted Spike to like this, wanted Spike to _love_ this and want to do it again and again. Pressing Spike's thigh backwards, he moved in close. He met his eyes once more, and Spike smirked deliberately. "Come on then!" Pressing himself into the well-worked hole, he slipped in and thrust his way home. "Fuuuccckkk!"

"Oh my God!" Xander gritted his teeth, desperate not to come, fighting the tingle in his balls and the tickling at the base of his spine that said he was three seconds away from shooting his load. "You ok?"

"Fuck yeah – this feels – fuck, Xan – Xan, fucking take me yeah – now!" Groaning, Spike lifted his legs up and back, Xander reaching to press his thighs down so that Spike was almost bent double. Unable to hold back any longer, trusting Spike to say something if he wanted to stop, Xander began to move – pushing in and out slowly, getting a little bit faster, then faster still. He moaned as he watched Spike reach down and take hold of his erect cock, fisting it strongly, stripping the flesh in a blur of speed as he tried to meet Xander's thrusts.

"Spike – shit, Spike, I'm gonna come – I'm sorry, it feels too good, I'm not gonna last - "

"Fuck it – come, Xander, come luv!" Unable to hold back anymore, Xander thrust one last time, holding himself in deep as he came at long last! He slumped, feeling as though all the blood had rushed out of his body with his come, unable to support his own weight any more. "Oi!"

He rolled off, moaning as his dwindling cock was released from it's tight cave, flopping next to Spike on the bed. Blearily he opened his eyes, realising that Spike hadn't come, his cock almost purple and painfully hard as he stroked it faster and faster.

"Xander – please, help me - " God it was so hot hearing Spike's begging him, that voice so deep and sexy. Reaching down, he gently rolled Spike's balls in his hand, squeezing gently, caressing, then tugging at the sparse hairs. It was enough, Spike thrusting into his own fist and yelling as he came, thick ropes of come spurting out and landing on his stomach, over Xander's arm and across their thighs. "Ruddy fuck!" he panted, turning to look at Xander, a deep pink flush painting his cheeks.

"God, Spike, that was so hot. You okay – it wasn't – I mean, are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, luv, I'm more than alright. That was fucking fantastic!" Rolling into Xander, unmindful of the mess, he laid a sloppy kiss on his mouth. They both grinned as they kissed, lips smacking rather than tongue-fucking, playful and happy. Pulling Spike close, Xander rubbed his face against his head as he snuggled in.

"Hey Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"You think – with practice with some toys and the like – that maybe we could try that again. With me at the bottom I mean." Spike tilted his head back and looked at Xander.

"You sure?"

"Oh yeah. I mean, you enjoyed that so much, there's no way I'm missing out!" Spike's giggle set Xander off, and they held each other as they laughed.

"Yeah luv, I reckon with some toys we can sort that out for ya!" Reaching up and over, Xander pinched the candle on his side, smiling as he watched Spike do the same on the other side. Pulling him close once more, Xander struggled to pull the sheet over them until they were tucked into the bed rather than just on top of it. As he started to doze off, a small voice in the darkness spoke up.

"Xander?"

"Yeah Spike?"

"Thanks. Ya know, for – well, for getting me past that. Really didn't think I could do that ever again – was scared and ya didn't take the piss or anything. So, yeah, thanks". Laying a gentle kiss on Spike's head, he replied:

"Anytime Spike. I can't get over how brave you were, so I should be thanking you. Now enough, I need some sleep".

"Why? Ya ain't got work tomorrow..."

"No, but I do plan on starting work using those toys – by the end of the weekend I wanna be on the bottom! Deal?"

"Yeah, Pet, deal!"

"Oh my Goddess, Xander, **that** was your first time?" Willow looked at him wide-eyed, even though he had given her the edited version, Spike's experience at Angelus's hands his story to tell, not something Xander would tell anyone without Spike's express permission.

"Yeah – it was pretty special!" She looked at him confused.

"Special? With Spike almost falling over, and the chip going off, and _lubricant_ spillage? That's what you call special?" He nodded. "Why?"

"Because it proved to me he was serious. No-one is going to go through all of that – the prat falls, the excruciating migraine, the embarrassment factor – if they're not serious, right? I guess, him going through all of that and sticking around – it just, yeah, convinced me that he really meant it. He's not just in it for the sex and fags you know?". Xander looked at Willow, blushing at her huge grin. "You think I'm crazy don't you?"

"No. No, I don't – because you're right. Spike has always been so confident, so in your face – the thought of him letting you see him vulnerable makes me want to give the shovel talk less and less. But I could have told you that just from the way he looks at you!"

"Yeah – really? How does he look at me?"

"Pretty much exactly the way you look at him, like I look at Tara. Like he's your own personal sun".

"Yeah." For a moment, the two friends sat in silence, both in love, both happy, a moment of harmony.

SMACK! "Right Whelp, up for a spot of violence then the bronze?" Spike's entrance into the apartment killed the moment. He walked over, gave Xander a rousing kiss before heading into the kitchen for some blood. "Hey Red!" He looked over at the two of them, the almost guilty looks they were wearing. "What have you two been talking about?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing! Gotta go see Tara – night Spike, night Xander!" Rushing to her feet, Willow gathered her bits and pieces together and headed for the door, blushing all the way. Spike looked over at Xander, who shrugged, pretending he had no idea why Willow couldn't quite meet Spike's gaze and had to leave so quickly. Standing, he walked over to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Spike from the rear.

"Hey Spike?"

"Yeah luv?"

"Instead of patrol tonight, how about we watch Blade I?" Spike stood still for a moment, then turned in Xander's arms, a huge grin crossing his face.

"Yeah Pet, we can do that. We can definitely do that!".

The End


End file.
